Luscious LaJuana

well....why the hell not?

2007-02-07T09:41:00.000-08:00

Here I am, back again. And why the hell not? Feisty as ever and God knows, happier than ever. Has anything changed? No. But now I've got tools to handle what comes along. Been using the 12 steps, meetings, literature, my sponsor AND the Course in Miracles with my sweetie--Fuzz--AKA as Honey. It's so good to have a spiritual intimate relationship that is so much fun and so real. A door way to my own natural child self--who God made me to be.

My daughter will have her baby in 7 or so weeks and we just got the crib put up at my house--Fuzz and I--so when he's born I can help out a LOT.

This is all for today. But there'll be more. I promise. Gotta go buy lumber so Eugene the yard mad can repair the garage, go buy postage stamps, grill some chicken so I can start eating right, call the upholstery man about my couch getting redone (it's my grandmother's and was bought in 1899 or before and she wanted me to have it. She recovered it in dark red velvet in 1960 and the velvet is still good but the springs are shot so I'm determined that the same velvet can be used for lsentimental reasons--besides I love the color), and call the guy who promised that my moths would be exterminated and they've eaten another whole in my carpet. Then I'll go work out. Such is the life ofl a retired person. I LOVE it.

OOooooo Gurrl--I am back

2006-08-25T17:36:00.000-07:00

It's good to be home. This'll be a quickie as I've got to go to Fiesta to restock my mango supply and also get milk for coffee in the AM. But wanted to check in as we got back Wednesday from Deutschland (which has its faults but in the airports the luggage carts go up the escalators automatically which I think is just nifty as can be). Mayhaps in the morning I'll write more--but til then, here's something to play with:
Think you can fly a helicopter? Click on the link and give it a whirl!

http://www.hurtwood.demon.co.uk/Fun/copter.swf

Afternoon gratitude...

2006-08-08T14:00:00.000-07:00

Afternoon gratitude....
Got up, did our meditations and prayer, dressed and arrived at the periodontist's office at 9 for my quarterly visit--No fun to have my mouth worked on but it's a hell of a lot better than losing teeth --this guy is good and I trust him and his opinions.
Then I got a few more things done, came home and ate lunch, then started putting stuff in my suitcase. It's so good to be getting all this done. Tomorrow this time, we'll be in the air...on our way to Germany and grandkids....

Today I am grateful
--for my periodontist and my teeth
--that I'm chugging along getting my list done
--that Trudging mentioned Kel and her blog
--that when I come home I'll re-do my links
--for a relationship in which I am NOT losing myself

Don't know where this comes from in the Bible but I love it--it's gotten me through some difficult nights:

Come unto me all ye that labor and are heavy laden and I will give you rest. For my yoke is easy and my burden is Light.

Re:mangoes, etc

2006-08-07T21:07:00.000-07:00

Today I am grateful:
--for mangoes, 2 for a dollar, at Fiesta (I got a bunch of them to ripen while I'm gone)
--for mango salsa (diced mangos, finely chopped jicama which has been soaked overnight in 1/2 C condensed OJ, finely diced jalapenos, a serrano(if you're a chili-head), some chopped cilantro, diced red onion, and a juice of one lime)--this stuff is GOOD on chips or grilled chicken or grilled salmon or on a spoon or licked off your fingers
--that I got most of my list done today (still gotta get that pedicure and hit Half-Price Books)
--for great house sitters who'll take care of my doglette and kitty and my house while I'm gone
--that in three more days, I'll have my arms around my grandchildren

Sell your cleverness and purchase amazement.-----Rumi

Who knows....?

2006-08-06T13:35:00.000-07:00

Well, how 'bout THIS? Now I CAN sign on to Blogger but can't get my email. Been trying to get my browser to accept my password but it says its blocking cookies (I keep doing the 'accept' button but it ain't working). Next step is to call SBC/AT&T helpline. One good thing, I'll be out of town for two weeks and won't wonder about it. Another good thing, instead of emailing, I'm blogging.

We're almost ready to leave for Germany. Today I'll copy the first two pages of our passports and our tickets and continue to pack. We're doing casual so it's just getting everything clean and pressed and put in the suitcase. My kitty cat Zoe knows something is up and has started sleeping in my suitcase when I forget ot close it. Jackie Chan will be OK since I'm not taking him to the kennel. House sitters Millie and Otis will be sleeping here at night, will walk Jackie morning and evening, let him out at noon and keep him and Zoe fed. Jackie has taken to Otis (thank God) and lets Otis pick him up and hold him which is rare for the Jackster. Zoe gets plenty of petting by Millie. So now my usual separation anxiety is down to a 2 or 3 out of 10--10 being my usual raging panicky anxiety which I feel when I have to leave Jackie Chan at the kennel.

It'll be good to have Honey along while visiting my son and his family. Honey and I want to teach the girls and Lewis basic dance steps while we're there. Lots of young people show up at the ball-room dance lessons we've takenand learning a few basic steps never killed anybody so I hope the kids are receptive. I think some of the TV shows about dancing have made a big difference in attitudes toward ballroom dance. One thing for sure, it's fun and it's exercise. We'll also teach them how to play Bouree, a cajun card game that's lots of fun. We've got lists of all the English speaking AA and Al-anon meetings in the cities where we'll be visiting so we'll also work in a little fellowship along the way.

Honey has had his 19 year old grandson Dan with him for the past 3 weeks. Honey is tutoring him in college algebra which his grandson is taking at the community college where Honey teaches (Dan enters college this coming September and had major fears about his ability to handle college algebra). This summer school course crams a whole semester into one month so its been some intense learning esperiences--especially for Dan who loves history and language but never felt comfortable in algebra. But his last test grade was a 93 so I think he's getting the hang of it. We'll be in Germany when he takes his final so Honey and he are really cramming this weekend, even covering what he'll have next week--so when the exam comes, he's gonna be ready. It's been a great experience for both of them. Honey has been an enthusiastic and knowledgeable teacher and his grandson has been willing to work hard and keep working until he really understands. Plus they've had guy-time together, working in the garden, fishing, riding tractors, and just hanging out. Neither one of them will ever forget this time. It's made a huge difference to both of them.

Today is my old nanny's 83rd birthday. I'll call her in a little while and wish her many returns of this day. She is in a lovely assisted living home in SC and I always stop by to see her when I'm there. She's still has a clear mind and is (and always has been) the most loving person I've ever known. Happy Birthday, dear Zona. I love you. You are such a part of my life and helped shape me into who I am today. You demonstrated absolute unconditional love and I am forever grateful to you.

Today I'm grateful:
--to know I am powerless over my computer
--that because of the 12 Steps, I look forward to my visit with my son in Germany
--to understand that any grievance (no matter how small) I hold on to stands between me and God
--that I know that God can and will do for me what I cannot do for myself, if He is sought
--that at 3:30 pm Wednesday, we'll depart for Germany and 11 hours later, we'll arrive in Frankfurt--around 8:30am Frankfurt time

Boy O boy--am I ever grateful....

2006-08-03T09:15:00.000-07:00

I'm grateful--
--that today is Thursday and my Jackson Hill Gang Al-anon meeting is in 45 minutes and only 7 minutes away
--to have had such a healing visit with my son in SC. My script was "I love you. I support whatever you do to heal and help yourself and I know this is up to you. Only you can help you. I can't. And the bottom line is--I love you"
--that my honey's and my relationship keeps getting healthier as we are willing to own our own stuff and as we tell our truth faster and faster--to ourselves and each other. Feeling safe in a relationship is a new one for me
--to be planning our trip to Germany from August 9- 24. We'll stay in Frankfort, Heidelburg, and Stuttgart--and ride the rails all over Germany. There'll be plenty of time with my grandkids and Honey will get to see Germany for the first time with sober eyes--says he always wondered what it would be like to see it sober since he was drunk the whole time he was there in the 50's in the Army
--to begin the day remembering 'This is the day the Lord hath made--I will rejoice and be glad in it'

A little Rumi for the second day of August

2006-08-02T10:25:00.000-07:00

"The Guest House"
by Jelaluddin Rumi,
translated by Coleman Barks
in his book *Essential Rumi*

This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they're a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.

He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.

Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.

The picture is from the chapel of Chimayo, a place of healing in New Mexico. Thousands of people come each year to this place which is called by some the Lourdes of North America.

back again--

2006-07-27T13:46:00.000-07:00

Today I am grateful:
--to be home again
--that I got to visit with my son--four visits (each lasting 1-3 hours) spread over five days
--that my honey served as my 12 Step Coach thereby saving me from insanity
--for visits with old friends, siblings and cousins
--that I was able to detach from my son's behavior and just love my son, just as he is
--that I could tell him I love him and mean it with all my heart

I thank God today...

2006-07-19T14:14:00.000-07:00

This pic was taken in an ancient Kiva in Frijoles Canyon, New Mexico.

I thank God today...
---that this morning I could hear the two year old splashing and laughing and laughing in her little wading pool next door. That's how heaven sounds...
---for the Pride of Barbados that I planted by my driveway yesterday
---for Joshua's Native Plants in the Heights. If you garden in Houston, you gotta surrender to the heat and humidity and the relentless sun--and Joshua carries all the plants that can make it through the year with little or no assistance (that's where I got the Pride of Barbados--also got one for Mame, my daughter, along with a firecracker plant and a plumbago which will be huge and covered with blue flowers before she knows it
---to be going to SC tomorrow to visit one of my sons, my sister, my old nanny, and relative and friends of my honey-bun
---that my honey-bun (and the wisdom and compassion of 18 plus years of sobriety) will go with me

mainly for JJ (and whoever else needs it)

2006-07-18T13:36:00.000-07:00

This is for JJ--thedashmovie who shared herself so movingly on her blog.

we weren't two of the 700 who've gone over the edge...

2006-07-18T05:27:00.000-07:00

Today I'm grateful

-for the opportunity to walk and talk with my daughter several times a week

-for the depth and health of our relationship--which is a direct result of the 12 Steps and lots of work

-to be in a healthy relationship with a healthy, loving man with 18 years sobriety--first healthy relationship I've ever had. It took me learning to love myself and being in a healthy relationship with myself before I could love some one else

-that he and I start every day with a 12 Step meditation and the Lord's prayer in person or on the phone

-that less and less I feel responsible for the results and effects of my sons' actions. My holding myself responsible for what THEY do or not do--Is that crazy or what? At last I am able to recognize this in myself when it happens--and only then am I able to surrender them to my Loving God

The pic is us at the Grand Canyon in May--an amazing trip full of spiritual awakenings...

We are here to awaken...

2006-07-16T10:19:00.000-07:00

Thich Nhat Hanh said:

We are here to awaken from the Illusion of our separateness.

http://www.globalcommunity.org/flash/wombat.shtml

Love,
LaJuana

go play...

2006-07-16T09:09:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I washed my back porch where I sit and have coffee in the AM, read in the afternoons, and sometimes watch tv (with the mosquitoe coils burning and the fan going) in the evening.

But anyway, I took all the furniture off--2 chairs, a footstool, my Ikea rattan lounger and a table, poured on the water and pinesol, scrubbed it with a broom, then hosed it off. We are talking CLEAN. Then I put everything back on (the day before I had taken all my hanging ferns down, watered them and put them back) and now feel great satisfaction everytime I look at it. This morning sitting on my newly clean porch I ate a bowl of cherrios with mango and blueberries while I watched Joel Osteen on TV.
It'll stay clean like this for a while, then it'll get another bath. But this will last for a month or so before the city dust settles on it again.

I love doing things that last--like washing a porch or painting something, like making a garden. Like working on myself--working the Steps, , taking my inventory, practicing forgiveness, being grateful, learning how to love more. Not a here today and gone tomorrow thing. Bit by bit, minute by minute, day by day, it adds up.

That's it for today. I'll add links another time. But here's something to play with meanwhile----http://www.jacksonpollock.org/

Don't ask me...I just blog here....

2006-07-15T08:17:00.000-07:00

am i back?
will this publish?
y is this happening?
what did i do right?

life is lovely and i am grateful to be alive and breathing
on this day of days
knowing i am sustained by the Love of God

I thank God and you today...

2006-04-22T12:12:00.000-07:00

I am grateful today:

to be writing a gratitude list
that Scott reminded me again to get back to my blog or get off the boards
to be reading Emmet Fox ("Fasting, as we understand it in Scientific Christianity, is the abstention from certain thoughts, cheifly negative or error thoughts..." p.105, Sermon on the Mount
to be living a more satisfying and joyful life than I ever thought possible
to know that the best is yet to come
that you missed me
that you are out there for me to miss, too. Thanks for being there

redbuds in bloom

2006-03-09T08:41:00.000-08:00

grateful today:

--for good meetings almost every day--today is Jackson Hill Gang
--for e-mail
--for early morning readings
--for often surrendering the need to know (how things will turn out, what the future will be, if, when, how...etc.,etc.)
--that I'll see my oldest son tomorrow afternoon

"...Doubt is an unavoidable companion of spiritual seeking...Everything I do and everything that crosses my path--people, situations, ideas--all have the potential to contribute to my growth and understanding. Just for today, I don't have to know what that contribution will be.--Courage to Change

More Emmet--and a little touch of Ghandi

2006-03-08T07:27:00.000-08:00

"To be poor in spirit...means to have emptied yourself of all desire to exercise personal self-will, and, what is just as important, to have renounced all preconceived opinions in the whole-hearted search for God. " (Emmet Fox, The Sermon on the Mount)

Today I am grateful:

for blooming redbud trees
for those sweet and juicy Clementines--they're my favorite snack while they're in season
that Jackie Chan will stay at Honey's this weekend--not at the kennel-- while I go to see my son in SC. Jackie Chan HATES the kennel and he'll have a good time checking out the animal tracks in Old Waverly
for the Al-Anon friend who surprised me with two CDs of great live Bluegrass music last night after the 12 step meeting. My Hill-Billy blood (my daddy's side) responds so wildly to Bluegrass music--it hits me smack-dab in the heart
that my friend Sanna is in town from LA and I'll eat lunch with her shortly. Just looooove old friends!

"Every moment of your life is infinitely creative and the universe is endlessly bountiful. Just put forth a clear enough request, and everything your heart desires must come to you." --Gandhi

Would you believe Japanese manhole covers? Simply beautiful and amazing designs from the most mundane of things. Check 'em out here. http://snipurl.com/n718

2006-03-06T21:33:00.000-08:00

The links will return--Baby Day Tuesday--then the Y and then back to fixing the blog and putting the links back on...

2006-03-06T16:15:00.000-08:00

Here's the Luscious One laboring in the Garden--a veritable Eve, one might say, except for the overalls and rubber boots plus a teeny bit of concealer and a tiny bit of eye liner . We were up and out early Saturday morning, got the fences up and the veggies in the ground and farmer's tans (mine was farmer's sunburn) to boot. I looove working in the dirt and we oughta see results before too long.

Today I'm grateful:

that my Zappo's order finally came
that my dancing stamina is improving--we danced nearly every dance Friday night--fast polkas included--for a little over two hours and still had energy to go shopping at HEB
that I love planting--whether it's flowers or veggies
for the noon meeting at St. Paul's today--lots of recovery plus all my favorite people at that meeting
for the Fruitcake Lady https://home.comcast.net/~jfmelnick/fruitcakelady.wmv
that I occasionally remember to Let Go and Let God
that when I did a spell check on this, it suggested Fruitcake (see above) be replaced with britches or proteases--Hmmmmmm--

To make good choices, I must develop a mature and prudent understanding of myself that will reveal to me my real motives and intensions. (Thomas Merton: No Man Is an Island)

...a pattern of living...

2006-03-03T08:03:00.000-08:00

"...the Al-Anon program is...a pattern of living that will serve me to exactly the degree that I work at it." ODAT in Al-Anon

Today I am grateful:

for zappos.com --the only place to get your boots and/or shoes
that I found the tube of lipstick I washed the other day BEFORE I put the pants in the dryer
to be packing up to go to the boondocks shortly where the Honey and I'll plant the squash, beans and tomatoes today and put up the fences--gotta wait til the weather warms up to plant okra, sez Honey--I've always had flower gardens, never veggies, so this is a new experience for me
that when Honey looked out his back door a few nights ago, there were four does looking back at him from just a few feet away. Before he could pick up his camera, they were gone. (Every time we're there, Jackie Chan very excitedly smells all the animal tracks, especially the deer tracks, strains at his leash and and dashes off with dreams of tracking down a deer and bringing it home for his dinner. Couldn't ever let Jackie Chan off his leash at Honey's as there are big hawks and owls there who dream of bringing home a juicy little 4.5 pound Yorkie for dinner)
that we'll go to BobWillsJr Danceland tonight, hang out with the regulars and waltz, polka and two-step to live music
that if we go dancing tonight, we'll be rested up enough to dance again Sunday night--can't do the dancing-every-night-all-night-long thing anymore
for the free daily inspirational message from Joel Osteen--just go to his site. Just LOVE that man--AND his message!

Now you see 'em--now you don't....

2006-03-02T08:20:00.000-08:00

I showed you these before. They no longer exist. Driving down W. Gray a few days ago I saw the huge shovel crunching and crushing them up and the pieces being loaded on to one big truck after another, headed for the landfill. So glad I got the pics when I did cause I'll miss them. And remember them when I see the soulless strip center that replaces them. I feel sad that Houston has so little respect for old buildings.
Tuesday I went with two friends into neighborhoods in danger of being taken over by more developers and we took pictures, a few of which I'll show you one day soon.
Today I'm grateful:

to have just finished Emmett Fox's book, The Ten Commandments, this morning at 7am--there's some very 50's stuff in there but there's also some very powerful info there, too
to have received a loooong string of Tibetan prayer flags from Pam by overnight mail on Feb. 28--the Tibetan New Year's Day. They look great on my gate, all of them waving in the breeze
that I'll get to the noon Jackson Hill Gang meeting and then go exercise today
for our great Houston winter weather
that my next read, Emmett Fox's Sermon on the Mount, is waiting for me on my bedside table

"What do you think of the nature of God? What do you think God is like? That is the most important question in the whole world because your idea of God will determine your whole life ...you cannot escape from the result of your idea of God, and whatever your idea of God is, will affect your life in every way." --Emmett Fox, The Ten Commandments

Geography N-E-1?

2006-03-02T07:49:00.000-08:00

states_experiment_
This is fun. Drag and drop the state. See what you know--and don't know.

The scene of my crime...

2006-03-01T05:02:00.001-08:00

This is where it happened. Right outside the Y, February 1, '06.
Today is court day. I gotta get ready to be there by nine. The first day I worked out at the Y, I came out at 3:57, turned my ankle, limped around the corner to my car and saw the meter maid waiting. "Here I am!" I yelled. "I just turned my ankle and can't run--but that's my car and here I am!" I was close enough that I could see her finger move and hear the click................"All you have to do is go to court and tell them you were coming out when I gave you the ticket," she said, smugly tucking her ticket writer back in its case. Dang her, I thought--getting her quota. She didn't have to do that.
But I refuse to give her power over my emotions today. I'll go and state my case and show my ticket reading '4:01pm,' quote the meter maid and see what happens. But whatever happens, the meter maid will not be victorious over my day.
Today I am grateful:

that I look to my Higher Power and not to the meter maid for direction today
that last night I got coaching on my up-coming trip to visit my son in SC--I'm still drawn to enable him by 'helping' him financially but I choose not to do that. Enabling him keeps him from becoming a fully-integrated, self respecting and contributing human being. He knows which buttons to push--but I have the help and guidance I need from my Higher Power and my Al-Anon friends--all of whom have volunteered their support (and that includes my Higher Power)
for the blooming red-bud tree outside my house
that with the tools of the 12 Step Program I can change my attitude
that I remembered to put my current auto insurance card in my bill fold this morning--real grateful for that

He's not impressed....

2006-02-26T19:18:00.000-08:00

Jackie Chan is less than impressed with the Yorkie he thought was such a hot babe. He put some moves on her--and talk about non-responsive! He tried and he tried and he tried but she never moved a muscle--and he was expecting at least a little spark or two. All he got was a mouth full of fake hair. Such is life. Better luck next time, Jackster.

after (sideways) and before...art project

2006-02-25T08:36:00.000-08:00

One day I might be able to turn these pictures right side up. Or not.

But the point is that I said I'd get them here and I did. I'm getting ready to go to Honey's where we've got plans to do a stir-fry then go dancing for a while. We'll come back here early tomorrow for church and more dancing tomorrow night.
Today I am grateful:

that I got these pictures posted
that I can get my Fosamax for $25 a month through my TRS insurance program--what a deal!
to have been born in America and have everything I need--because of the Program I no longer take clean, running water and a clean, safe place to sleep for granted--what a good life we live

2006-02-24T11:28:00.000-08:00

Today I am grateful that the yardman/handiman is back and my front garden has been weeded for the first time in months, the Christmas ornaments are off the bougainvilla, packed in boxes and back in the attic, the roses in front and on the back fence pruned, the burned out yard lights have been replaced, the gutters cleaned, and now he's just come back from the hardware store with roof tar and is trying to find the place where water is getting into a spot on my kitchen ceiling. Honey's theory is that it's coming from some place else. Yardman's theory is that it's from the old wood under the windows. By a process of elimination, the leak will be found. Once the leak is found, THEN the ceiling will get repaired. Not before. I've been there and done that and won't do it again til I know the leak is gone.
Today I am grateful:

as I said before, that the yardman is back and so much is getting done in such a short time
that this morning I got my tickets to go visit my son in SC for his 46th birthday--I'll just be there three days and two nights and he'll be relieved that I'm not staying longer. He's the one who was in prison and he's doing comparatively well. I'm so thankful he has a phone again. And that he sounds deeply human again for the first time in a looooong time. (Meth does not contribute to good healthy loving relationships so I thank God that's out of the picture today)
that I got to talk to my grandkids in Germany today--I love hearing their voices anytime, anywhere and wish they were geographically a lot closer. They were cleaning out their pet turtles' box while we talked
for the monk-e-mail I got from my daughter http://www.careerbuilder.com/monk-e-mail/ --this is by far the funniest thing you've ever seen. Scott sent her a monk-e-mail, then she sent one to me. You get to dress up your own monkey and...well, go there and see
for my Honey's willingness to help me with my art homework--and the amazing results (the assignment was to take a familiar object and transform it by imaginative means so that it is unrecognizable and, if possible, says something about our society) I'll have it here tomorrow--I promise. Never underestimate the power of a shotgun . I named the results "Lots of Love from Dick C"

Today is my baby's birthday....

2006-02-21T11:59:00.000-08:00

Here she is--my baby. I call her Mame (nicknamed when she was three--for Flaming Mamie) and she was born a little over 40 years ago. I tried and tried to get her born on my birthday but she just wouldn't co-operate. My mom had come down state to where I lived to care for my two boys and I was hoping against hope that I'd have a little girl this time. And I did. It was a natural birth so I'd know everything that went on. My doctor knew how badly I wanted a little girl--when she was born he said, 'It's another boy!" And then '---Just kidding! You've got a little girl!' How absolutely delighted I was. Right then, they wrapped her in a blanket and handed her to me and I held her close. As I held her, she stopped crying and I started crying. My darling daughter...
I've always thought she and I planned to be in this life time together, that we'd worked off our bad karma in other life times and now we can enjoy each other. We've worked and worked on our relationship and I wouldn't take anything for it-- it's really paid off. We just love each other. Happy Birthday, my darling Mame. And have many many many more. I think you're great.
Today I am grateful:

for the birth of my daughter 40 something years ago

that she's one of the most compassionate, intelligent and loving people I've ever known

that we live just a few blocks apart

that we talk to each other at least once a day and always have plenty to say to each other

that she's just as beautiful on the inside as she is on the outside

that we can speak our truth to each other in a kind and loving way

that when I try to control her, she just laughs

that we respect each other as intelligent and loving adults--what a gift!

that I'm able to share this joy with you

Happy Birthday, Sri Ramakrishna

2006-02-18T07:05:00.000-08:00

Today is the birthday of Ramakrishna, a remarkable Indian saint born over a hundred years ago. I had the honor of being born on his birthday 68 years ago and consider him to be my first teacher after I saw his picture and began reading his writings in '65. These are some of his words:

"By acquiring the conviction that all is done by the Will of God, one becomes only a tool in His hand. Then one is free, even in this life."
"It is ignorance that thinks 'I am the doer.' All our strength is the strength of God."
"As by continual peeling of the skin of an onion, we find nothing is left, so on analysing the ego it will be found that there is not any real entity corresponding to the ego. Know theyself and thou shalt know the non-self, the Lord of all...Ponder deeply and thou shalt know that there is no such thing as 'I'...He is truly free, even in this life, who knows that God does all and he does nothing."
Also born today: John Travolta and several millions whose names I'll never know. Happy Birthday to all of us. (Especially you, Sri Ramakrishna--and lots of love and hugs and kisses for you, too.)

Today I am grateful:

to have found the 12 Steps--a gift from God
to be more joyful, more content, more serene, more grateful today at 68 than ever before in my life
to know, and be able to confirm for you, that it just keeps getting better each year of my life--life makes more sense today than ever before--and it's a helluva lot more fun each year
to know that this life is simply a journey of the soul and that as I master the current lesson, a new one will be presented
that, even though I might forget, I am guided and led every moment of my life by my Higher Power
that I was given this opportunity to be on this planet at this point in time--God knows I'm enjoying this thoroughly and appreciate it with all my heart
for my family and friends who are making the journey with me--we've done it before and we'll do it again and again and again

2006-02-17T09:48:00.000-08:00

Today I am grateful:

that I feel so damn good physically, emotionally and spiritually today (unlike the woman talked about on TV--"although she's 68 years old, she's still able to walk almost half a mile each day." By the Grace of God, I can do 8 plus miles on the exercycle at level 12 or 13--I decrease it after 10 minutes or so but keep hard enough so I can tell I'm exercizing). Let me tell you, I think 68 is the new 48. Take care of yourself--you might last longer than you think (and you wanna be in good shape when you die)
that I'm getting lots of stuff done
that I'm never 'prayed up'--there's always another prayer waiting in the wings--more necessary conversation with God, if I just remember. My teacher Baba Muktananda said, "Don't worry. Even if you forget God, God never forgets you"
for St. Exupery's words 'That which is essential is invisible to the eye. It is only with the heart that one can see rightly'
that more and more I'm willing to listen to that 'still small voice'

PS: http://www.michaelbach.de/ot/index.html

That's the optical/visual illusion link.
That one really works. Maybe. Sorry abt the other one.

Bored? Optical Illusions and Visual Phenomena 4 U

2006-02-16T10:45:00.000-08:00

Have fun. Scientific explanations included.
www.michaelbach

...with the help of our Higher Power

2006-02-16T07:03:00.000-08:00

"We move from being at the mercy of any problem that comes along to an inner certainty that no matter what happens in our lives, we will be able to face it, deal with it, and learn from it with the help of our Higher Power."
...In All Our Affairs

Today I am grateful:

that the feelings of neediness and desperation I used to experience in relationships are GONE today (so far so good)
that I've never been on Jerry Springer
that I'm ready to go weigh in at WW
for the cohesiveness and support of my Wednesday night Jungian Active Imagination group
for one more day of warm weather before the cold sets in again
that I have a great meeting to go to at noon
that with the help of my Higher Power, when I opened my eyes this morning, I was filled with gratitude and enthusiasm for the day before me

"Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new end."

As We Understood...

2006-02-15T09:26:00.000-08:00

Gratitude today:

for a long walk this morning with Yorkie Jackie Chan
to be scanning the sidewalks for material for my collages
for the juicy feeling of creativity seeping through me
that before it goes into the 50s again, we'll have a couple of warm days in the 70s and 80s. I can stand this kind of winter weather
that the hard work my daughter and I put into our relationship over the years has paid off in spades

Wondering what to do with your time and money? There's the New Light ministries here in the big H. The minister's wife is having her 50th birthday party to which you can go for a ticket price of $100--as long as you are in a tux (guys) or cream or gold formal (women). Suggested gifts? Howsa bout a Gucci bag? Or gift certificate to Neimans? Or tuck a Hamilton in a card. To learn more go here: giftideas

Valentines Day is also my Honey's Birthday

2006-02-14T04:58:00.000-08:00

Today is my Honey's belly-button birthday. He is such a good person, has done so much work on himself since he got sober 18 years ago (and he continues to work on himself with rigorous honesty) that I experience joy and healing and freedom in his presence. He is a gentle man (in the truest sense of the word), strong, deeply spiritual and passionate with a very keen, clear intellect. He is my hero. Happy Birthday to my Honey, the man I love.

I am grateful:

to have my sweetheart Honey in my life
to have worked on myself enough that I can truly appreciate a sober, good man
that today is Baby Holding day for me in NICU
that I woke up at 5:30 this morning and right after my first cup of coffee, washed my 4.5 lb. Yorkie who needed a bath and reapplication of flea meds. I'm grateful that I got that done--HE was NOT and is still pissed with his mommy
for everything, both the bad and the good, that brought me to where I am today

Happy Valentine's Day to each of you. I hope for you what I want for myself so this message is to me as well as you--I hope you love yourself today. Be kind and nurturing to yourself. Forgive yourself. Respect yourself for the work you have done on yourself and for the wonderful creation of God that you are. Be gentle with yourself. Say good things to yourself. You deserve good things so do something loving for yourself today. Be your own Valentine. The Luscious One sends you love and a hug.

2006-02-13T06:33:00.000-08:00

I'm grateful today:

to be going to my art class shortly
to have a great place to work on my art projects
for the dancing with Honey last night and the oysters on the half shell afterwards
to be learning to trust my Higher Power more and more, knowing He will take care of me
to be learning to pray "only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out." What an infinitely powerful gift we have been given...

2006-02-12T09:01:00.000-08:00

Gratitude today for:

the sun already warming things up
the fact that it never really gets as cold here in the middle of the city as they say it will
Honey's and my accidental gate crashing of a Quincinera party around 10:30 last night--we strolled into the hall all innocently all set to dance and there was this HUGE very glamorous photo (maybe 4X5) of the young honoree in her elaborate white Quincinera gown at the entrance, with great music blaring out with a decidedly Latin beat and splendiferous dancers, wildly free in their movements. LOVED the young guys and girls in their extreme outfits doing a line dance the likes of which I've never seen before. If we hadn't already eaten, I'd have been tempted to see what was on the menu. There were maybe two or three hundred people or more there in this huge hall--we'd never have been noticed...I just loved the few minutes we were there
having gotten in lots of meetings this week
the best friend I ever had and my sweetheart being the very same person

Are you a psychopath? This will tell....

2006-02-11T08:55:00.000-08:00

Psychopath Test

Read this question, come up with an answer and then scroll down to the bottom for the result.

This is not a trick question. It is as it reads. (No one I know has got it right--so far. )

A woman, while at the funeral of her own mother, meets a guy whom she does not know. She thinks this guy iss amazing. She believes him to be her dream guy so much, that she falls in love with him right there, but never asks for his number and so can not find him.
A few days later she kills her sister.

Question: What is her motive for killing her sister?

[Give this some thought before you answer--see answer below]

Answer:
She was hoping the guy would appear at the funeral again. If you answered this correctly, you think like a psychopath. This was a test by a famous American Psychologist used to test if one has the same mentality as a killer. Many arrested serial killers took part in the test and answered the question correctly. If you didn't answer the question correctly, good for you. If you got the answer correct, HHHHmmmmmm....I don't think I want you to know where I live...

Divinely Led (Language of Letting Go-Feb.11)

2006-02-11T06:50:00.000-08:00

Send me the right thought, word, or action. Show me what my next step should be. In times of doubt and indecision, please send Your inspiration and guidance. ---Alcoholics Anonymous

The good news of surrendering ourselves and our life to a Power greater than ourselves is that we come into harmony with a Grand Plan, one greater than we can imagine.

We are promised Divine Guidance if we ask for it, if we work the Twelve Steps. What greater gift could we receive than knowing our thoughts, words, and actions are being directed?

We aren't a mistake. And we don't have to control or repress ourselves or others for life to work out. Even the strange, the unplanned, the painful, and those things we call errors can evolve into harmony.

We will be guided into understanding what we need to do to take care of ourselves. We will begin to trust our instincts, our feelings, our lthoughts. We will know when to go, to stop, to wait. We will learn a great truth: the plan will happen in spite of us, not because of us.

I pray today and each day than my thoughts, words, and actions may be divinely led. I pray that I can move forward in confidence, knowing my steps are guided.

I welcome me back to the blog community. Thanks for coming by and wondering where I was. I was taking a brief breather as life was getting so full and busy what with daily writing, two classes, homework, exercise, our relationship, the dailiness of life, etc. How did I ever find time to work?

Today I am grateful:

to be writing another gratitude list--it makes all the difference in my day
that my son in SC (who will be 46 next month) who, though not working the Steps, is not drinking or drugging for the first time since he was 11 years old--my heart runs over with gratitude and love. When we talk on the phone, I'm talking to HIM--not the alcohol or the drug. I know if it is in God's plan, he will find the Steps
that my attempts to control/manipulate my daughter are met with loving laughter as she calls me on it--I thank God for our relationship
to be working out again--the Y is perfect for me and I LOVE the feeling I get from exercise--been doing a few machines and the Life-cycle --increasing the level of exertion and/or the time gradually
that God, if He is sought, can and will do for me what I cannot do for myself

2006-02-04T09:00:00.000-08:00

Today I am grateful:

that I know how to make a mean Salsa Verde--partly copied from Ninfa's Salsa Verde and partly made up by me (today's text is green in honor of Salsa Verde)
for being able to get my three homework creations done last night (for my Monday art class). I started around 7 and worked straight through til 1:30 am at which time I was so revved up I couldn't go to sleep til around 2:30--I love that feeling of creating. I've found that I can shut my left brain up if I have the TV and radio on at the same time...It confounds my left brain and frees up my right brain--Woo-Hoo! AND Yee-Haw!
for a house guest who is so at home here that it's doubly fun to have her stay here
that daughter Mame and her S.O. Don and wonder dog Lucy will be coming up to Honey's tomorrow to watch the Super Bowl with us. Mame and I will take the dogs to the pond to sniff for beavers and deer and rabbits if we get tired of football. Jackie Chan and I will come back to the city with them Sunday night
that "serenity isn't a matter of chance; it's a matter of choice" (Hope for Today) and I'll do whatever it takes to give myself this best of all possible gifts

God grant me the serenity

To accept the things I cannot change,

Courage to change the things I can,

And wisdom to know the difference.

2006-02-03T08:22:00.000-08:00

"Stop telling God how big your mountains are. Start telling your mountains how big your God is." --Paraphrased from Joel Osteen's Living Your Best Life Now CD

Today I am grateful:

for my Joel Osteen Living Your Best Life Now CDs (I play them almost constantly in my car. So good. S0 full of juice. ) If you liked his book, you'll love these. ( Incidentally, I read that Lenny Kravitz who I think is a hottie is a huge Joel fan and wants to meet him next time he's here in Houston)
for the great IMAX movie on Beavers (no comments, please, dAAve). If you haven't been to an IMAX, you gotta go--each one is absolutely amazing
that , in addition to doing 20 minutes on the weight machines, I went 10.5 miles on the Life-cycle yesterday. I was pretending to cycle to Honey's place from Willis and almost made it--today I aim for a little more than yesterday....
to be looking forward to seeing Pam today who is coming here from Atlanta for the Tibetan Buddhist Seminar on Dreams at the Jung Center this weekend--she knows she's always welcome here anytime she's in town. She is the person who went to Thailand, Nepal and Tibet with my daughter and me in '99--I'll tell you about it one day. An amazing adventure
to be experiencing daily an ever new and ever deeper connection with my Higher Power whom I choose to call God

"He is a God of my awareness who serves as a guide in all areas of my life." As We Understood...p.93

World's Easiest Quiz

2006-02-03T08:15:00.000-08:00

WORLD'S EASIEST QUIZ (Passing requires 4 correct answers)

1) How long did the Hundred Years' War last?

2) Which country makes Panama hats?

3) From which animal do we get catgut?

4) In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution?

5) What is a camel's hair brush made of?

6) The Canary Islands in the Pacific are named after what animal?

7) What was King George VI's first name?

8) What color is a purple finch?

9) Where are Chinese gooseberries from?

10) What is the color of the black box in a commercial airplane?

All done? Remember, you need 4 correct answers to pass.
Check your answers below.

ANSWERS TO THE QUIZ (Passing requires 4 correct answers)
1) How long did the Hundred Years War last? 116 years
2) Which country makes Panama hats? Ecuador
3) From which animal do we get cat gut? Sheep and Horses
4) In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution? November
5) What is a camel's hair brush made of? Squirrel fur
6) The Canary Islands in the Pacific are named after what animal? Dogs
7) What was King George VI's first name? Albert
8) What color is a purple finch? Crimson
9) Where are Chinese gooseberries from? New Zealand
10) What is the color of the black box in a commercial airplane? Orange, of course.

What do you mean, you failed? Me, too. (And if you try to tell me you passed, you lie!)

The Right Step meeting last night

2006-02-01T08:04:00.000-08:00

The meeting last night restored me to sanity. It took a while but I am restored. No longer--at this moment--insane. There is such healing in being able to talk about my pain, in not keeping it hidden inside me, in sharing in a safe and compassionate place with people who can hear what I say.
I'm glad it's today. I don't regret the pain of the past few days--I'm just glad it's over for now. I love my son with all my heart and for this moment I know that I cannot save him. Only he and his Higher Power (if He is sought) can do that.
Today I am grateful:

to be going to the IMAX at Houston Museum of Natural Science in a few minutes
to have been through my pain and come out the other side of it
to have had two good meetings to go to Monday and Tuesday
that I was able to own and share my reality with my son without blaming or shaming him
to be able to practice these principles in all my affairs

Nancy's update on WM and his surgery

2006-02-01T07:57:00.000-08:00

This is a note from Nancy:

Most of you asked me to let you know about Wm.
He came thru the operation OK, the cancer was contained, did not spread.
The lymph nodes in the surrounding area were removed to be tested for cancer cells.
If they are clear, he probably will not need chemo.
I like stories with happy endings.
He is staying in recovery for the night, to keep a check on his heart.
They gave him a too small gown, this was before the big boy gown arrived.

(the picture of WM didn't come through--it was too good--wish you could see it. Wm is a BIG man and he's sitting there in his SHORT gown with the surgical cap on his head, the compressing hose, and a BIG grin on his face)

Thanks for all your concern and prayers, they certainly had an effect.
Please say a few prayers for his nurses, he will drive them crazy and there is such a shortage of nurses.
How can such a placid, laid back man turn into a impatient patient?
I asked the attending nurse to keep him an extra week, they will probably send him home early.
He has a button to push to inject a pain killer, I hope it has a governor installed.

The path to personal freedom

2006-01-31T08:09:00.000-08:00

Last night I couldn't sleep. Why? My son's disease is eating him alive and I feel sad. Sunday my daughter showed me a picture of him, my diabetic non-recovering son who has gained so much weight that he literally looks like he might blow up at any moment. I understand that he's drinking and eating to avoid thinking about the drinking and the consequences of his addictions. You understand that, don't you? His disease is ravaging him. His disease is also ravaging his family. I pray to be able to let go and let God, to realize my powerlessness over alcohol. There will be a meeting at Right Step tonight and I'll be there.
Today I am grateful:

for the incredible weather of Houston--it'll be in the 70's all week, the skies are clear and blue, my flowers are blooming, and I am alive and well and in Al-Anon
for the power of prayer
that I'll work out again today
for email from my oldest granddaughter (12 years old) who is already starting to look at colleges here in the states
for this reading from Courage to Change for 1/14: ...'When I am able to admit that I am powerless over alcohol, my life becomes more manageable. Today I will take the path to personal freedom and serenity that begins when I surrender.'
that making this gratitude list has cleared my thinking
for this present moment in which I can make a decision to turn my will and my life over to the care of God as I understand Him

Say a prayer for William today when you read this

2006-01-31T01:38:00.000-08:00

This is the note to me from William P who has over 20 years of sobriety. He and his partner Nancy (he calls himself her manservant) are dear friends of mine. Say a prayer for him please.

My gratitude goes out to all of the medical personnel at MD Anderson who have kept me on Earth these past 13 years.

On the 31st of January, I am scheduled to have the right side of my colon removed here at MD Anderson in Houston.

I am in good hands........

Why is colon screening so important?

Colon screenings have been proven to reduce colon cancer deaths up to 90%. The reasons why includes:
Colon polyps, the precursor to colon cancer most often exhibits few if any symptoms
Early diagnosis and treatment has been proven to reduce death rates dramatically.
These polyps are usually removed during the routine colonoscopy.
If discovered early, colon cancer can often be cured with surgery alone.
In healthy people without risks, disease, or symptoms, a yearly fecal occult blood test, a sigmoid scope every 5 years, and a colonoscopy every 10 years starting at age 50 is recommended.

Colon Cancer deaths are second only to those from Lung Cancer.

It's not what you gather, but what you scatter that tells what kind of life you have lived.

Gratitude

2006-01-30T20:55:00.000-08:00

Today I am grateful:

for the Birthday Celebration with Honey Friday night--he got his 18 year chip
for Bob Wills Jr. Danceland again after the Birthday Celebration--same good music, same good dance floor, same drunk short cowboys at the same table (this time the shortest cowboy's wife sat in some man's lap and another woman at the table kept repeating in a loud voice, 'Shut up, Roy! Just leave your wife alone! Shut up, Roy! Just leave your wife alone! Shut up, Roy! Just leave your wife alone!' and the shortest cowboy got out on the dance floor by himself and did a VERY drunken line dance with everyone avoiding him and his wobbling lurches across the dance floor). Honey and I are getting comfortable enough to occasionally try a few of our fancy polka and two step moves we're learning--Dancing is so much FUN --and dancing with a sober man is the best!
that we stayed up until 2AM Sunday talking about who we had as role models as children and the lack of role models of healthy adults being emotionally intimate
that my daughter's cold is better and she's regaining her energy
that I could find a good meeting today at noon after my art class at Glassell--I needed the meeting even more than I needed the art class

2006-01-27T09:34:00.000-08:00

Today I am grateful:

to have gotten my Y workout done this morning
that Honey is joining the Y with me
to be headed to Willis on this outrageously beautiful day
that we're going to attend church at Lakewood on Sunday
that I lost .8 of a pound last week at WW ( I weigh on Thursday)--I'm aiming for losing more than that and am grateful to have lost something. Working out will help a LOT

Just too too offensive...for anyone--especially YOU

2006-01-26T14:38:00.000-08:00

The Luscious One does NOT think this sort of drivel is one bit funny or even vaguely humorous. So do NOT blame me if you are offended. It will not be my fault
Well, OK. If you must. If you insist. Look at it--but don't say you weren't warned by the Luscious One. buffalobeast

2006-01-26T11:16:00.000-08:00

Today I am grateful:

for Jackie Chan's chic new look thanks to Jose at Man's Best Friend
for my super class last night and the four great people who also attend
that it's count down time to my art class at Glassell--only four days to go--Monday at 9:30--and I'll have homework too. BTW I did a mandala in watercolor when I got home grom my group last night
for the short but juicey phone call to my great sponsor Scott W.
that my Living Your Best Life Now CDs (Joel Osteen) came--I'm playing them in my car while I'm driving. It's great to have my head filled with the type of information essential to the growth of my spirit. Not preachy at all..just about our relationship with God and the importance of watching the quality of our thoughts. I just looooooove Joel Osteen

Thoughts about Surrender

2006-01-25T09:02:00.000-08:00

I believe that complete surrender of my life to God is the foundation of serenity. from Twenty Four Hours a Day.
That came from sippiambrose ( my sponsor Scott W.'s) blog Attitude of Gratitude this morning. Powerful, powerful. That's a new one for me--that giving up control, surrendering, is the key. Letting go and letting God. How simple is that? I CAN and WILL surrender, with the help of my Higher Power, who can do for me what I cannot do for myself if He is sought.
This is from Courage to Change:
The only times I have ever found lasting satisfaction were when I let go of self-will and committed myself to seeking the will of my Higher Power...The path to my true heart's desire is to surrender to the Will of my Higher Power. 'We know that God can and will do anything that is for our ultimate good, if we are ready to receive His help.' (12&12)

Today I am grateful:

that I can surrender to God's will and still go dancing at Bob Will Jr.s Danceland Friday night after Honey's Birthday meeting
that Honey asked me to be the one to present him with his 18 year chip at that meeting--Thank you, Honey
for the great workout yesterday at the Y--and I'm going again today. Just LOVE those endorphins!
for Jose at Man's Best Friend who'll give Jackie Chan his shampoo and haircut tomorrow. He and Jackie have a mutual admiration society so I drive 20 miles in traffic so he can cut Jackie's hair--Jackie's the only codependent relationship that I allow myself to have
for all that is being revealed to me about myself through my journaling each morning

The strongest principle of growth lies in human choice. ---George Eliot

Cloudless blue skies--

2006-01-24T07:54:00.000-08:00

Today I am grateful:

for cloudless blue skies and rising temps again--Woo-Hoo! and Yee-Ha!
to be able to share my flowers--the two year old next door is my best customer. She's got my permission to pick pansies anytime but she doesn't. She WILL point to certain ones and those are the ones I pick for her. When I opened my front door yesterday--she and her dad Alex were sitting on my front steps, he telling her that her mom will be home soon. (Mom is in France on business and will be home this weekend.) Alex is such a hands on Dad. A great guy
that Liberty across the street has a sign on her garage door that reads "Parking for Greeks only--all others will be towed" and I smile each time I see it
that there's still a sign on a house on the next street that reads: HIPPIES MUST USE BACK DOOR
that our neighborhood has not become so gentrified that it no longer allows quirkiness
that this list makes me look inside each day--as the Courage to Change says, "I need to nurture myself with gratitude. I can practice appreciating myself, my world and my Higher Power"
that today my Joel Osteen Living Your Best Life Now might come and that tonight there's the great 6pm meeting at The Right Step

2006-01-23T13:18:00.000-08:00

This is where Honey and I went to church yesterday--it's the church to which Honey belongs. It was founded in 1860, the present building dates from 1903 and there are presently 60 members. I'm gonna tell ya, I love places of worship--especially those that are old-- (cathedrals, Tibetan temples, city churches, mosques, country churches--no matter) where the aura of thousands or perhaps tens of thousands of prayers lingers. This place is like that. Very sweet. Very simple.
It's interesting to me how my view of churches has changed in the past few years. Ever hear of 'contempt prior to investigation'? That was what used to block my experience in lots of areas. Now I listen closely to the words of the hymns, feel my heart responding to the readings of the Psalms, no longer argue silently with what I hear or see. I listen. I respect. I experience the presence of my own Higher Power. It's OK that I might see things differently. Or the same. I now respect what another holds sacred--God as we understood Him.
Today I am grateful:

to have sat in church with my Honey yesterday
to have had a delicious lunch after church with old friends who are artists and to introduce them to Honey and my Honey to them
to finally have started reading The Big Bang by Simon Singh ('cause I finished Murder on Grub Street by Bruce Alexander--a Sir John Fielding mystery--good stuff)
that I finally joined the YMCA--and love it--great place to work out
to rejoice daily in the good, healthy, joyous and loving relationship with my daughter (the results of working on one's self never cease to amaze me). I wouldn't change it for the world

A wise old owl sat in an oak.

The more he heard, the less he spoke.

The less he spoke, the more he heard.

Why can't we be like that old bird?

from The American Mother Goose

(and recited many times to me by my Dad a LOOOooong time ago)

The Friend inside...

2006-01-21T14:14:00.000-08:00

From Courage to Change for 1/21:
...Al-Anon helps me to listen and learn from my body, my soul, and my Higher Power. How do I do it? I try to check in with myself on a regular basis. Am I hungry, angry, lonely, or tired? If so, I can make a point of stopping what I'm doing long enough to attend to my needs.

When I pay attention to the messages I'm being given, I have a better chance of detaching from other people and situations, should that be appropriate. For me this is the foundation of serenity.
Reminder:
I no longer have to wait until my health, my financial situation, or lmy emotional state collapses before paying attention to my needs. Today I can practice becoming more aware of what my inner voice is trying to teach me. I can listen and learn.

"Don't listen to friends when the Friend inside you says "Do this!' " Mahatma Gandhi

Today I'm grateful:

for the noon meeting today at Right Step--really powerful. Subject was the Serenity Prayer
that more and more I am focusing on myself--not on my qualifiers. I love them no less--but detaching from them with love means I no longer try to be their Higher Power. God has a plan for their lives and for my life. I don't have to plan their lives or try to see that their lives work out. I can let go and let God
that the more I let go, the easier it is to see that God works in His time, not mine. It's such a relief to know I can't manipulate or control God. He's large and He's in charge.
to know that I can reveal myself, tell my truth, be more and more authentic with safe, recovering people (my Honey and my daughter and my sponsor, for a start), and I can get loved unconditionally in return
that the more I accept and love myself, the more I can accept and love others

This year's 10 winners of the Bulwer-Lytton contest

2006-01-20T10:54:00.000-08:00

This year's 10 winners of the Bulwer-Lytton contest, aka "Dark and Stormy Night Contest" (run by the English Dept. of San Jose State University), wherein one writes only the first line of a bad novel:

10) "As a scientist, Throckmorton knew that if he were ever to break wind in theecho chamber, he would never hear the end of it."
9) "Just beyond the Narrows, the river widens."
8) "With a curvaceous figure that Venus would have envied, a tanned, unblemished oval face framed with lustrous thick brown hair, deep azure-blue eyes fringedwith long black lashes, perfect teeth that vied for competition, and a small straight nose, Marilee had a beauty that defied description."
7)"Andre, a simple peasant, had only one thing on his mind as he crept alongthe East wall:'Andre creep... Andre creep... Andre creep.'"
6)"Stanislaus Smedley, a man always on the cutting edge of narcissism, was about to give his body and soul to a back alley sex-change surgeon to become the woman he loved."
5)"Although Sarah had an abnormal fear of mice, it did not keep her from eeking out a living at a local pet store."
4) "Stanley looked quite bored and somewhat detached, but then penguins often do."
3) "Like an over-ripe beefsteak tomato rimmed with cottage cheese, the corpulent remains of Santa Claus lay dead on the hotel floor."
2) "MikeHardware was the kind of private eye who didn't know the meaning of theword 'fear'; a man who could laugh in the face of danger and spit in the eye of death --in short, a moron with suicidal tendencies."
AND THE WINNER IS...
1) "The sun oozed over the horizon, shoved aside darkness, crept along the greensward, and, with sickly fingers, pushed through the castle window, revealing the pillaged princess, hand at throat, crown asunder, gaping in frenzied horror at the sated, sodden amphibian lying beside her, disbelieving the magnitude of the frog's deception, screaming madly, 'You lied!"

Book Game

2006-01-19T09:29:00.000-08:00

Book Game from chrkos
Here are the rules:
1. Grab the nearest book
2. Open the book to page 123
3. Find the fifth sentence
4. Post the text of the next 3 sentences (#5,6,7) on your blog, along with these instructions.
5. Don't you dare dig for that "cool" or "intellectual" book in your closet! I know you were thinking about it. Just grab what is closest. No cheating.
If anyone plays the Book Game on their blog, let me know--it will be interesting!

"...have moved the spirit inside me
till I am carried away
trembling with joy."

Uvavnuk in The Enlightened Heart

2006-01-19T04:47:00.000-08:00

There's this inner alarm clock within me and if I think 'I need to get up at 6:00 AM' then woe is me--I wake at that time. Can't sleep past it. That happened today--So I got up, thought about taking me Fosamax but drank my coffee instead, did my blog, my writing partially done, got my dog walked, more phone calls made (the divine organizer Velma is coming back after she gets over her bronchitis), another weigh in at WW (slowly but surely)(this way I can't cheat--my weight's written down each week), then back here for soy sausage and two eggs (one of which went to Jackie Chan--he gets the yolk, I get the white), a little more computer time and now to my meeting and then to the Downtown Y which you'll hear about. They've got by far the best deal. But it IS downtown in the middle of everything. And it'll be good to have a place that has some good workout equipment. We'll see.
Our Active Imagination group is really coming along. The same group has been together on Wednesday nights for about 8 months and we're really making progress. Only 5 of us plus Anna the annalyst. Three of the group are 12 steppers which makes it really interesting and 4 of us have done lots of work on ourselves with therapists, etc. So it's getting gooder and gooder.

Today I am grateful:

to witness the power of revealing one's self with a safe and compassionate person or group
that I was able to get the pics off my camera and onto my blog--thank you again, Nancy
that my Honey and I have a dance lesson tonight
that I'll get to the Jackson Hill Gang meeting at noon today
that after the meeting I'll hit the gym at the Downtown YMCA--it's closer than anything else

Thy Will, not mine, be done today.

Half Naked Thursday

2006-01-19T04:22:00.000-08:00

I said Id get Half Naked and I did--right in front of my medicine Buddha thangka.

2006-01-18T09:10:00.000-08:00

This morning, while I'm writing, I'm listening to mostly Puccini--it's turned up really loud, feeding my soul, opening my heart and enlivening my right brain. What a treat.
Today I am grateful:

that it'll soon be up to 70 degrees again--that's the kind of winter weather I like
for music--I love almost all of it and have CDs of just about everything I love: from Bach, Australian Aborigine Didgeridoo, C&W, Tibetan Chants (one of my favorites which I like to listen to with headphones--we got to experience these chants first hand in Tibet a few years ago) , Puccini to 50's Platters and Midnighters music to Rainforest Pygmy chants and Mozart
that I've made the phone calls I've needed to make today and gotten lots of stuff handled--with more to go later on
for my sight--both inner and outer--and the same for hearing
that my soul has taken this opportunity to incarnate on the earth at this particular time--it's been an interesting journey and I'm glad it ain't over yet. I wouldn't change a thing

"For every man, the world is as fresh as it was the first day, and as full of untold novelties for him who has the eyes to see them."

Aldous Huxley

An early start...

2006-01-17T04:05:00.000-08:00

I love waking up early if it's natural and not by an alarm clock. I've already been downstairs to make coffee, found my glasses, looked for my other 'good' coffee cup, said my prayers (which I started before I got out of bed), so now I'm ready for some gratitude.
Today I am grateful:

for the rain yesterday--I love how everything looks through a misty veil. And we'd been under a burn ban since it's been so dry
that I got to talk to my daughter, both sons, and my three grandchildren yesterday
that today is baby holding day for me--and there's a Right Step meeting tonight at 6pm and I just gotta be there

"God, who is all good and all wisdom,

provide me with the tools

that are useful in overcoming my difficulties.

May I be willing to use them."

Al-Anon ODAT

Bob Wills Jr. Danceland...

2006-01-16T09:21:00.000-08:00

That's where we were Friday night--at a real Honkey Tonk--Bob Wills Jr. Danceland near Willis. It was kinda smokey, dark, all lit up with neon. It was great. Honey and I danced two-step, a waltz (I just love Waltz Across TX with You) or two and a couple of polkas along with all the farmers and ranchers and their wives and girl friends. Lots of guys in cowboy hats. An old couple dressed in matching western shirts who you could tell had been dancing together for years and years and years. A few single women who got chosen and danced with by the single guys there. The table of SHORT cowboys (bet none of them was over 5'5) in their cowboy hats along with their short girl friends. They got louder and louder as they drank more and more beer and we watched as one cowboy put the make on another's girl friend but there was no trouble as the second cowboy was too drunk to notice.
We went there after we'd gone to the 6 o'clock meeting where Honey shared about his 18 years of sobriety. He told me you don't do that for yourself--but to let others know it can be done. If he can do it, so can they. I'm glad I love a sober man. It's all together different being in a relationship when both people are absolutely fierce about their programs. Makes all the difference.
I've been faithful about writing my morning pages which are part of the Artist's Way and appreciate the respect I get from Honey--he knows that's my private time and he takes care of himself doing his own things while I take care of myself with my writing. The woman who wrote the Artist's Way is a recovering alcoholic and her book is based on the 12 Steps. Imagine that, you can recover from artist's block with the 12 steps, too. Not surprising. More and more I realize what a powerful spiritual tool the 12 steps are. We who come in contact with the 12 Steps and work them are truly blessed. We have chosen to be blessed.
Today I am grateful:

profoundly grateful, for the 12 Steps
for dancing with my Honey
that I love a man who can make GOOD cornbread with no sugar in it

2006-01-13T08:33:00.000-08:00

Today I am grateful:

to be in a wonderfully healthy, fun, and loving relationship with a man who will have 18 years of sobriety tomorrow--He's my Honey and I'm stickin' to him
that we'll be at his home meeting tomorrow for his birthday meeting tomorrow (the birthday celebration is the last Saturday of the month)
for the great dance lesson last night followed by dinner at Pappas' Seafood--just love their oysters on the half shell
that Mame and Mike will feed Zoe while Jackie, Honey and I are in Willis and beyond
that I am happy and alive and well and in a 12 Step program at this point in my life

2006-01-12T08:40:00.000-08:00

"Ask, and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock, and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives, and he who seeks, finds; and to him who knocks, the door wil be opened."

The Bible

Today I am grateful:

that Velma the Supreme Organizer is here organizing my files and financial records. I go quite insane when dealing with records and its only with an organizing person that I can return to sanity and organization and clarity. She's going through EVERYTHING, is making a spread sheet, refiling, reorganizing, etc. then she'll come back for two hours a month to keep me on the straight and narrow
for The Artist's Way , the writing of the Morning Pages and what I'm learning
that my Jungian Active Imagination class has begun again--Yee HA!!!!
to be back on track with my Weight Watchers--and I've found a gym nearby
that the Honey and I have a Polka lesson tonight
for the discipline of writing a gratitude list each day

"I have held many things in my hands, and I have lost them all; but whatever I have placed in God's hands, that I still possess."

Martin Luther

Useful adjectives, etc.

2006-01-11T08:45:00.001-08:00

Well that was interesting--seeing on JJ's blog http://areasonaseasonalifetime.blogspot.com a few comments on the Luscious one's use of the word motherfucker. One person gasped, another one giggled, and the Luscious one realizes that she has not been all that self revealing in this blog. Truth to tell, my vocabulary is and has been quite liberally sprinkled with four letter words of Anglo-Saxon origin. Because I have a rather lady-like appearance and a Southern somewhat refined accent
my public is often taken aback when I say fuck(actually I use it more as an adjective than an expletive--such as 'it is way too fucking cold'). I have learned that if the word ' fuck' slips out inappropriately (such as an accidental "O Fuck! say when spilling one's tea at a garden party) one can recover rather nicely by adding "goodness sake!" as in O Fuckgoodness sake! But the main reason I've not sprinkled my blog with the word fuck is that I'm trying to clean up my language somewhat. Not totally but somewhat. So enough of that. Just keep in the back of your most wondrous mind that the Luscious one has a wild, dark and untamed spirit which has NOT aged--nor will it--and THAT side of the Luscious one will keep on saying fuck.
But back to JJ--check the pics in JJ's View of the World--it's on her profile page.

Today I am grateful:

that after being 37 degrees this morning it's warming up fast--it's now around 65. That's more like the Houston we know and love
that Francisca is here and my house will be shining by the time she leaves
for being unable to stay away from the Right Step meeting last night--it was (as usual) very powerful and enlightening. There's always a shift in my awareness each time I'm at that particular meeting
for the about-to-bloom roses (both climbers, one yellow and one red)I dug up and rescued from Juanita's yard right before her house was bull-dozed
that because of the pain and sadness arising from the alcoholism, addiction and disfunction in our family, I found a new way of living through the 12 Steps

Catching up...

2006-01-10T04:03:00.000-08:00

It's been a while, hasn't it? Things have been happening and life gets rather full. And my heart is full too. Of gratitude. My most beloved daughter had day surgery yesterday and she did and is doing well. Moms do not like having their children in the hospital for any reason. We like our children well and healthy and not in need of any surgical procedures as that reminds us of the fragility of life and how precious our children are to us. We were at the hospital from 10 AM to 6PM when I brought her home. Honey took us there and stayed til around 3 and my daughter's darling Don met us at her house when we finally got home. After seeing that she was doing OK he then went to Paulie's and brought us salads for dinner. It was good knowing I left her safely in the good and gentle hands of Don.
Today I am grateful:

for my daughter's health and well being
that she has such a good man in her life
that Honey took my doglette to walk yesterday afternoon (and that my dog allows Honey to walk him)
that today I register at Glassell
for the Language of Letting Go (by Melody Beattie)--it's my Life Skills workbook. I truly would not know how to be in a relationship without it

Washington Post Neologisms

2006-01-10T04:01:00.000-08:00

Once again, The Washington Post has published the winning submissions to its yearly neologism contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.
The winners are:
1. Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.
2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.
3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.
6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.
7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle (n.), olive-flavored mouthwash.
9. Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.
11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.
12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
13. Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist.
14. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), The belief that, when you die, your Soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
16. Circumvent (n.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.

2006-01-07T20:46:00.000-08:00

Today I am grateful:

that I found Janet W's number and she knew all about the Glassell classes and gave me suggestions on which classes and teachers
that I took my first step toward painting the Virgin of Guadalupe on the side of the building in my backyard
that my daughter finally lured her kitty cat Biscuit back inside tonight after his several hours of freedom
that I know that I need nothing and no one outside myself to make me whole
that when I show up for myself, I don't have resentments

"...human beings, by changing the inner attitudes of their minds, can change the outer aspects of their lives."

--William James

2006-01-06T08:36:00.000-08:00

I love this folk art on this building--it's right around the corner from the 'Yar laughs' graffiti (which is on W. Gray)that I showed the other day. My camera has been in my handbag and will go with me where ever I go cause I just love some of the painting on the buildings around here--especially the Hispanic cantinas. So you'll be getting more when I find more. Maybe up on the east end of town.

This from Language of Letting Go for Jan. 6: If we are unhappy without a relationship, we'll probably be unhappy with one as well. A relationship doesn't begin our life; a relationship doesn't become our life. A relationship is a continuation of life

...Relationships are where we take our recovery show on the road...The one choice we usually have in our relationships concerns our own behavior. In recovery from codependency, our goal is to behave in ways that demonstrate responsibility for ourselves...Recovery is not done apart from our relationships. Recovery is done by learning to own our power and to take care of ourselves in relationships.

Today I will participate in my relationships to the best of my ability. I will make myself available for closeness and sharing with people I trust. I will ask for what I need and give what feels right.

Today I am grateful :

that I am learning to demonstrate different behavior (such as taking care of myself)--in my relationships. I can have my fear and do it anyway
that I've started on The Artist's Way and have written my first morning pages
that registration for Glassell School of Art is next Tuesday and I'll be there
for the Blue Dolphin group which meets at First Pres on Main--Last night was my first visit there after hearing about it from several people. A powerful group with lots and lots of recovery. Where two or more are gathered together...
that Scott taught me how to put links on here--He put the first few on and showed me how and then let me do it. Thanks, Scott-- I needed that

Hook 'Em Horns!

2006-01-05T12:48:00.000-08:00

from Courage to Change--for Janurary 5

I was terribly confused about the meaning of "compassion" when I came to Al-Anon...I learned that when I cleaned up the consequences of alcoholic behavior, I enabled the alcoholic to continue drinking comfortably and acting out with out having to pay the price. A more compassionate way to respond to those I love might be to allow them to face the consequences of their actions, even when it will cause them pain.

How do I know whether a particular action is enabling? While this is not always clear, I find it helpful to look carefully at my motives. Am I trying to interfere with the natural consequences of a loved one's choices? Am I trying to do for someone what they could do for themselves? Am I doing what I think is best for me? Do I resent what I am doing? If so, is it really a loving choice? Sometimes the most compassionate thing I can do is to let others take responsibility for their behavior.

Today's Reminder

Today I will remember that I have choices and so does the alcoholic. I will make the best choices I can and allow others in my life to do the same without interference.

"I must learn to give those I love the right to make their own mistakes and recognize them as theirs alone."

Al-Anon Faces Alcoholism

Today I am grateful:

that after I turned off my TV I heard the kid's next door and down the street screaming --and figured out what was going on
that I turned my TV back on to the Rose Bowl and saw Vince doing his thing--WHAT A SHOW!!! WHAT A GAME!!!
that the Horns Hooked 'Em!

The Symptoms of A Quiet Mind/Inner Peace

2006-01-04T09:55:00.000-08:00

The Symptoms of A Quiet Mind/Inner Peace
Author Unknown (but still very much appreciated)

The symptoms:

1. A tendency to think and act deliberately, rather than from fears based on past experiences.

2. An unmistakable ability to enjoy each moment.

3. A loss of interest in judging others.

4. A loss of interest in judging self.

5. A loss of interest in conflict.

6. A loss of interest in interpreting the actions of others.

7. A loss of ability to worry.

8. Frequent, overwhelming episodes of appreciation.

9. Contented feelings of connectedness with others and nature.

10. Frequent attacks of smiling through the heart.

11. Increasing susceptibility to kindness offered, and the uncontrollable urge to reciprocate.

12. An increasing tendency to allow things to unfold, rather than resisting and manipulating.

(This was sent to me by my daughter Mame)

2006-01-04T05:45:00.000-08:00

Daily vigilance will turn out to be a small price to pay for my piece of mind.

-- ( in Courage to Change)

Lord knows if I allow it, my mind will do some bizarre things. Night before last I had an experience of my mind going through an old pattern and volunteered to just sit and watch it, feel how uncomfortable and fearful it was possible to feel just by being in this old worn out pattern, and finally let my mind wear itself out. Next time, instead of suffering and being uncomfortable, I'll call my sponsor Scott as I knew I could have done a lot earlier. I do not want to squander two or three hours of my life on unhealthy runs through old patterns. No more unnecessary wallowing. I will be more vigilant and use the 12 Step tools I have in a more timely manner. Awareness, Acceptance, Action. I'll be aware of my unhealthy thought pattern, accept it and then take action. I do like my piece of mind. It's a hell of a lot more fun than fear.

Today I am grateful:

for Scott's hilarious message on my phone
for Houston weather
that Jackie and I'll join the Honey and his grandson's today in the country. They'll watch football, Jackie and I will bring a book or two to read
for the Sunday night dance lessons
that I was able to talk to my SC son again last night and he's almosts well from his sore throat, cold and cough (and even though my mood does not depend on his mood, it sure was good to hear him being upbeat) and he's working some again--

"Look to this Day! For it is Life, the very Life of Life!"

From the Sanskrit Salutation of the Dawn

2006-01-03T05:13:00.000-08:00

As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them.

John Fitzgerald Kennedy

Today I am grateful:

for the meeting we held outside in the warmth of the sun at St. Paul's yesterday noon
for Birgit whose wise shares on her relationship are a model I never had before
to be able to share Codependent No More with another old friend yesterday
that my next door neighbor offered to put my '73 450 SL on a huge web site so I can sell it
to be writing a gratitude list--what a way to focus my mind on the gifts in my life today
that in a few hours I'll be holding and snuggling and singing to babies in the NICU at TCH
to still be excited and full of enthusiasm as I near 68 years of age about the possibilities of life and growth--because of the 12 Steps

from Courage to Change, for January 3:

I am writing my life story with every single today. Am I moving in a positive direction?...I can do nothing to change the past except stop repeating it in the present. Going to Al-Anon meetings and practicing the principles of the program are some of the ways in which I am already breaking out of unhealthy and unsatisfying patterns of the past...No one can make me change. No one can stop me from changing. No one really knows how I must change, not even I. Not until I start. I will remember that it takes only a slight shift in direction to begin to change my life. (And, inserts the Luscious One, I remember always that God is doing for me what I cannot and could not do for myself)

"The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. Lao-tse

Happy and Healthy New Year to you

2005-12-31T15:32:00.000-08:00

Today the Honey and I went to an open AA meeting at St. John the Divine's. The meeting (which is full of laughter and is attended by a LOT of people) has been going on for over 20 years and is led by Red R who has forty something years of sobriety. One of the subjects mentioned to day was the mystery of life--what happens in that hyphen between the date of birth and the date of death. It was a powerful meeting. Then when I came home I came across the following: If we could untangle the mysteries of life and unravel the energies which run through the world; if we could evaluate correctly the significance of passing events; if we could measure the struggles, dilemmas, and aspirations of mankind, we could find that nothing is born out of time. Everything comes at its appointed moment. (Joseph R. Sizoo) Everything in its season. I like that quote because sometimes, a lot of the time, I don't understand a lot, don't understand why things happen or don't happen. So it's a comfort to know that there is a Higher Power who IS in control, that there IS Divine Order.

Today I am grateful:

for the meeting today
that I look forward to the coming year
that I do not regret the past year
that even when I forget my Higher Power, my Higher Power does not forget me
that who I am today is NOT who I was yesterday, a year ago or ten years ago--that each day is NEW

Have a happy and healthy New Year. Eat your collards and black-eyed peas. And just one more thing:

The ultimate lesson all of us have to learn is unconditional love, which includes not only others but ourselves as well.

Elizabeth Kubler-Ross

2005-12-30T07:44:00.000-08:00

This is the sun setting behind the statue of Sam Houston as we were leaving the Museum of Natural Science Tuesday evening. Just had to show you this sky.

Earlier I mentioned getting back in touch with my son in SC. The reason we were out of touch is that his phone was turned off til cousin Steve finally convinced him to get another now that he's working. Adjusting to life on the outside has been hard for him since he got out of prison. I don't think he's using drugs or drinking now (as I'd hear it from my cousin if he was) but he's not in recovery. I have to let go of that and how he chooses to live his life. He's a grown man--nearly 46 years old--but being a mother doesn't stop and I have concern over how he's living his life and the choices he makes. A while back on a counselor's advice I resigned from enabling him and stopped sending him money. He was really angry with me for a while because now he has to support himself. All I can do is to keep praying and keep handing him over to God Who has not advised me about His plans for my son. But my son IS in God's hands.

Today I am grateful:
--that the neighbor's cat I was supposed to be feeding (along with her cat brother) finally appeared last night on the doorstep
--that after the cat appearance my neighbor called to ask about her cats and I could give her a good report
--for Weight Watchers--I finally went back to the Thursday meeting. (I dropped out when I went to Scotland in September )
--that I've gained only two pounds back since September
--for the dancing we'll do New Year's Eve and then again Sunday night--Yee-Ha! we're in dancing mode and I LOVE it!
--for the noon meeting at Jackson Hill
--that I don't have to understand how God does for me what I could not do for myself
--that this blogging community shares with me their experience, strength and hope--each of your stories of recovery gives me hope for my those in my family who are not in recovery
--that I truly believe that with God all things are possible

God is subtle, but He is not malicious.

--Albert Einstein

My Half Nekkid Eyes in Kelsey's Buddy Holly Glasses

2005-12-28T21:26:00.000-08:00

Today I am grateful:

to have played dominoes with Honey from 9pm to 1:20am--world championship stuff

for the visit to I-Max (Mystic India) with Mame, Luis, Don and his daughter Kelsey

that we all got in on Senior membership rates thanks to the cheerful ticket person

for Kelsey's cell phone camera--yee-ha! for technology

for fish tacos at the Hobbit Hole on Richmond --we were sitting outside laughing and eating under Christmas lights in 65 degree weather. I can think of worse scenarios

for the tenderness and sensitivity of the movie Brokeback Mountain

to be back in contact last night with my son in SC because of the compassion and kindness of my dear cousin Steve--it was the first time since August that I'd talked to my son

always, always for the power and compassion of the Tuesday night meeting at Right Step and for the willingness of the participants to share their courage, strength and experience from the heart

Kindness in words creates confidence. Kindness in thinking creates profoundness. Kindness in giving creates love.

-- Lao Tsu

2005-12-27T08:19:00.000-08:00

Today I am grateful:

to be alive and well and joyous and free at this moment today
that LLBean (if called by noon 12/22 promised free delivery by Christmas Eve
that the first pair of Kicker boots I ever bought I got half-price at the Village Shoe Shop (going out of the boot business sale) and they're the second most comfortable shoes I own--first are the Birkies of course
for Houston winter weather--it's supposed to be 80 today
to be in love with my best friend
to also be in love with my Yorkie Jackie Chan (that's him pre-shampoo today)--how fine is it to have TWO great males in my life--both who LOVE me
that my dentist is in his office this morning and will be able to re-glue the cap thst came off Christmas Eve---

Stress during the holidays? Help is here....

2005-12-26T18:05:00.000-08:00

Use this mental health link for your stressful holiday.....Peace be unto you....

http://www.toilette-humor.com/stress-monster.html

2005-12-26T09:44:00.000-08:00

This was sent to me this morning from a man (one of my favorite people) with 23 plus years of sobriety--

Subject: Me & God

The next time you feel like GOD can't use you, just remember...
Noah was a drunk
Abraham was too old
Isaac was a daydreamer
Jacob was a liar
Leah was ugly
Joseph was abused
Moses had a stuttering problem
Gideon was afraid
Samson had long hair and was a womanizer
Rahab was a prostitute
Jeremiah and Timothy were too young
David had an affair and was a murderer
Elijah was suicidal
Jonah ran from God
Naomi was a widow
Job went bankrupt
Peter denied Christ
The Disciples fell asleep while praying
Martha worried about everything
Mary Magdalene was, well you know
The Samaritan woman was divorced, more than once
Zaccheus was too small
Paul was too religious Timothy had an ulcer
...AND Lazarus was dead!
Now! No more excuses!

God can use you to your full potential. Besides you aren't the message, you are just the messenger.
In the Circle of God's love, God's waiting to use your full potential.

1. God wants spiritual fruit, not religious nuts.
2. Dear God, I have a problem, it's Me.
3. Growing old is inevitable ... growing UP is optional.
4. There is no key to happiness. The door is always open.
5. Silence is often misinterpreted but never misquoted.
6. Do the math .. count your blessings.
7. Faith is the ability to not panic.
8. Laugh every day, it's like inner jogging.
9 If you worry, you didn't pray .. If you pray, don't worry.
10. As a child of God, prayer is kind of like calling home everyday.
11. Blessed are the flexible for they shall not be bent out of shape.
12. The most important things in your house are the people.
13. When we get tangled up in our problems, be still. God wants us to be still so He can untangle the knot.
14. A grudge is a heavy thing to carry.
15. He who dies with the most toys is still dead.

Today I am thankful :

--that I talked to my grandkids yesterday and even though they are in Germany, I could share in their joy
--for the fun we had in Willis Christmas Eve with all of Honey's family (ten not including Honey and me) and the Mexican food and seeing the interaction. I just loved seeing that many mathematical minds at work on games
--for the great time I had with Mame and Don and Honey at dinner here on Christmas Day
--that I got my Christmas cookies made and delivered (no kidding, I was on a strict diet for three days--nothing but cookies the whole time--it was goooooood--the best diet I've been on in a long itme)
--for the following prayer:
Dear God,
Take me where you want me to go,
have me meet who you want me to meet,
tell me what you want me to say,
and most of all
keep me out of your way.
Amen
This prayer was written and said daily by a New York Fireman during the 9/11 crisis...his name is Mychal Judges

I am determined to see things differently...

2005-12-24T07:08:00.000-08:00

The world we see that seems so insane may be the result of a belief system that isn't working. The belief system holds that the fearful past will extend into a fearful future, making the past and the future one. It is oour memory of fear and pain that makes us feel so vulnerable. It is this feeling of vulnerability that makes us want to control and predict the future at all costs...

If we are willing, it is possible to change our belief system. However to do so we must take a new look at every one of our cherished assumptions and values from the past. This means letting go of any investment in holding on to fear, anger, guilt, or pain. It means letting the past slip away and with it all the fears from the past that we keep extending into the present and the future.

"I am determined to see things differently" means that we are truly willing to get rid of the past and future in order to experience NOW as it really is.

Most of my life I have acted as if I were a robot, responding to what other people said or did. Now I recognize that my responses are determined only by the decisions I make. I claim my freedom by exercising the power of my decision to see people and events with Love instead of fear.

Gerald Jampolsky, MD Love is Letting Go of Fear

Today I am grateful:

for my daughter and her partner Don who love and nurture each other
for our 7:30 AM phone call this morning
that I have no doubt that prayer is a real force in the Universe
that I long for "Thy Will, not mine, be done today"--for me that's what serenity is about
to be able to extend my prayers and good wishes to our blogging community for a time filled with love--Merry Christmas , Happy Hannukah--whatever. I wish you joy and peace and love.

2005-12-23T20:32:00.000-08:00

These are Christmas lights right up the street from me--don't you just love Chirstmas Lights? I do. Last night I started making my Christmas cookies and tomorrow morning, before I go to Willis, I'll deliver some of them. Today I went to help Honey with the preparation of the Mexican feast for tomorrow. There'll be 13 people plus Jackie Chan. Guess I'll end up holding Jackie most of the time as he gets very testy around most people although lately he's being very friendly with Honey. Guess he figures if you can't lick him, join him. Then Christmas Day my daughter and Don and Honey will come here for Christmas dinner which my daughter will cook in her new kitchen and bring over here where we'll eat since she hasn't had time to organize her kitchen since the redo which has lasted FOUR months. She planned the menu which includes chicken roasted with rosemary and lemon, beets with balsamic vinegar, garlic mashed potatoes and the broccoli salad which I'm contributing along with my dining room table. And chairs, etc. I finished up my shopping tonight when I found what Don wanted--ELO's Classics which he'll get along with the Chitlin' Strut T-shirt from Salley, SC which I think he'll love. I'd mention what clever item I got Scott W but then he might read this and it wouldn't be a surprise. Or maybe not. Anyway I got Don's daughter the same thing.

Today I am grateful:

to have had minimal traffic to and from Willis today
to have been with Jackie Chan as he tracked deer and beaver and moles aaround the pond at Honey's place
for the luminous blue sky tonight with white clouds sailing across the sky reflecting city lights and beyond them stars still visible despite the brightness of the night
to have run into my daughter and Don tonight at Fiesta--the best neighborhood grocery store in Hou
to be relaxing in the present moment for the past few days--knowing God will help me let go, heal from and release any painful memories surrounding the holidays. Day by day I am finishing my business with the past. What a life. I thank God.

2005-12-22T18:20:00.000-08:00

Today I am grateful:

that each day is a new day--I can start all over again
that I no longer have to do old patterns of behavior
that I can keep choosing healthy new behaviors
that I reach out when I need to--I no longer think I have to handle problems alone
for my sponsor Scott who when I called him from my car in the parking lot at Target told me to talk to my HigherPower right then and there
that I kept my phone flipped open and with my windows rolled up had a long talk with my Higher Power in the Target parking lot--got right through immediately--wasn't put on hold and was able to call Him right back when I realized there was more I needed to surrender
that at long last the people I choose to be with are safe and nurturing

Honey's photo of Old Waverly Christmas Sunset

2005-12-21T21:17:00.000-08:00

On Learning to Do Better

2005-12-21T06:28:00.000-08:00

On Learning to Do Better

I walk down the street. There is a hole.
I don't see it. I fall in. It isn't my fault.
It takes a very long time to get out.

I walk down the same street. There is still a deep hole.
I pretend not to see it. I fall in.
I pretend it's still not my fault.
Itakes a long time to get out.

I walk down the same street. There is still the same deep hole.
I see it. I fall in it anyway. It's a habit.
I get out quicker this time.

I walk down the same street. There is still the same deep hole
I walk around it. I don't fall in.

I walk down a different street.

--Portia Nelson

2005-12-21T06:01:00.000-08:00

This is what you see when you turn off of FM 1097 on the way to Honey's. I love this place--and the guy sitting on the porch who has a LONG beard and who is wearing overalls. I'll bet he's got a cheek full of tobacco too. Or snuff. Anyway, this is part of the view. It reminds me of the little town in SC where I grew up.
On down the road is a more bucolic view--cattle (that Jackie Chan barks at), horses, some interesting houses (one with rusting '49 and '50 Chevvy trucks and cars in the yard), and some of the best little churches you ever saw--really tiny ones, old ones, ones that even have historical markers indicating their ages.
Anyway, this is a little peek at part of my world that extends past Willis.

Today I am grateful:

for the meeting last night and for the great fellowship afterwards
that my daughter and I will spend Christmas Day together for the first time in years (I'm usually in Germany with my grandkids)
that Honey and I will spend Christmas Eve at his place with his kids and grandkids, eating Mexican food that he'll cook--I'm cook's assistant
to have an international calling plan so I can talk to my Grandkids in Germany as much as I want for .08 a minute
for the abundance in my life--and that by the Grace of God I'm learning to be grateful

IT DEPENDS ON YOU

If in your heart you make a manger for His birth

Then God will once again become a child on earth.

Angelus Silesius

2005-12-18T12:44:00.000-08:00

Today I'm grateful:

to be learning to take care of and nurture myself in a relationship--the more I love and accept myself, the easier that is. And the easier it is to be in a relationship and love and accept the other person
that we'll have Christmas dinner at my daughter's newly remodeled house--she designed the kitchen herself--I'll post pics of before and after one day
to have attended a graduation at SHSU in Huntsville last night. (The person who graduated is in AA.) It brought back memories of when my daughter graduated in her Master's program and her brother flew in from Germany to surprise her--what a gift that was!
to be in cahoots with Honey in buying presents for a needy family--just a few more items and then we'll be all done
to be moving forward in life with joy and relative ease

2005-12-16T22:12:00.000-08:00

Today I am grateful:
for a visit with San in her home

to have found two copies of Tuesdays with Morrie-- one for me, one for San--again at Half Price Books

for Jackie Chan's antics which keep me laughing

for the following words: Cast thy burden on the Lord and He shall sustain thee...(Psalms 55:22)

that I have a friend who reminds me of the fragility of life and the importance of living fully NOW--as some one said, 'Life is not a dress rehearsal.'

This pic is an accident and I love it--taken at night--aimed at the moon.

2005-12-16T05:43:00.000-08:00

from The Language Of Letting Go for 12.16

Taking Care of Ourselves Emotionally

What does it mean to take care of myself emotionally?
I recognize when I'm feeling angry, and I accept that feeling without shame or blame.
I recognize when I'm feeling hurt, and I accept those feelings without attempting to punish the source of my pain.
I recognize and feel fear when that emotion presents itself.
I allow myself to feel happiness, joy, and love when those emotions are available.
Taking care of myself means I've made a decision that it's okay to feel.
Taking care of my emotions means I allow myself to stay with the feeling until it's time to release it and go on to the next one.
I recognize that sometimes my feelings can help point me toward reality, but sometimes my feelings are deceptive. They are important, but I do not have to let them control me. I can feel, and think too. I talk to people about my feelings when that's appropriate and safe. I reach out for help or guidance if I get stuck in a particular emotion.
I'm open to the lessons my emotions may be trying to teach me.
After I feel, accept, and release the feeling, I ask myself what it is I want or need to do to take care of myself.
Taking care of myself emotionally means I value, treasure, explore, and cherish the emotional part of myself. Today, I will take care of myself emotionally. I will be open to, and accepting of, the emotional part of myself and other people. I will strive for balance by combining emotions with reason, but I will not allow intellect to push the emotional part of myself away.

Whatever I am thinking right now is creating how I am feeling. I turn to positive and loving thoughts because I choose to feel good. --Ruth Fishel
_________________

I love my part of town...

2005-12-15T21:40:00.000-08:00

This is the view from Office Max on W. Gray. I just love this town--as they say, I wasn't born here, but I got here as soon as I could. The first time I came here and drove down Westheimer, I knew this was my 'hood. It was and it is. I love Houston--and especially Montrose.
Today I am grateful:

to be in a neighborhood so diverse and accepting that at the Post Office yesterday on Graustauk, a transvestite in 4 inch heels, with way more make up than I ever wore, highly blond loooong hair and tight pants stood chatting with others in line with no self-consciousness. I thought, Jesus would live in Montrose, too
that my neighbor says I can put a mural on the wall of her building that backs up on my yard (bring your projector, Scott. The Virgin of Guadalupe is about to make her appearance on that wall....Yee-Ha!)
to find the one book I wanted at Half-Priced books on Westheimer last night for $3.71
for the productive day I had yesterday (because my phone wasn't working?)
for the tools of the Program--when in doubt, whip 'em out
for prayer
that God is doing for me what I can not do for myself...what a gift

The ultimate lesson all of us have to learn is unconditional love, which includes not only others but ourselves as well. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross

half naked Thursday virgin

2005-12-15T06:42:00.000-08:00

"I came to Al-Anon confused about what was and was not my responsibility. Today, after lots of Step work, I believe I am responsible for the following:
to be loyal to my values
to please myself first
to rid myself of anger and resentment
to express my ideas and feelings instead of stuffing them
to attend Al-Anon meetings and keep in touch with friends in the fellowship
to be realistic in my expectations
to make healthy choices
to be grateful for my blessings

I also have certain responsibilities to others:
to extend a welcome to newcomers
to be of service
to recognize that others have a right to live their own lives
to listen, not just with my ears, but also with my heart
to share my joy as well as my sorrow" (from Courage to Change, One Day at a Time in Al-Anon II, page 85).

Today I am grateful:

to finally join the half naked Thursday group
for Scott W's computer tutorial
to be learning about boundaries--for myself, thank God, and others
to have my Christmas shopping almost complete--just one more package to mail to Germany
for my daughter's listening skills
that when I felt anger yesterday, I remembered to pray
for the opportunity to keep growing, keep changing, to look with new eyes each moment

Not "Revelation"--'tis--that waits, But out unfurnished eyes--Emily Dickinson

Why I bought this house...

2005-12-14T09:08:00.000-08:00

This is the little triangular space above my kitchen sink which is in the corner below two windows and it's one reason I bought my house. I just loved this little corner. I put things I want to look at and that make me happy there. You can't see a few things on the right. Honey is there and a little elephant figurene, too. But for now, I'll tell you what you see is a rose (it's called Joseph's coat of Many Colors) and it climbs my front porch. Next is the picture of my first grandchild and me, next is a picture of the Virgin of the Lake (which I found on the sidewalk one day when I was in despair over lots of things--I took it as an omen that my Higher Power was there with me when I least suspect it--My HP remembers me even when I forget Him) and on the right is a picture of my Guru Sw. Muktananda who left his body in 1983. Also there in front is my 6 year chip which I picked up the end of November. Which always reminds me of the gifts of the program. That I would not be able to experience this different realm of joy and serenity (most of the time) were it not for the 12 Steps. I love focusing on those things which bring me joy and peace.
Today I am grateful:

to have gotten my package to my Germany grandkids mailed--Priority--it oughta get there in plenty of time
for the looooong discussion with Honey on different aspects of spirituality--so long that it'll have to be continued when we're together this weekend. We don't always agree but we highly respect each other's opinions
for dinner at Pronto's with all the 12 steppers from the Right Step meeting last night--and for the support and love and compassion there

In all thy ways acknowledge Him, and He will make plain thy paths (Proverbs 3:6).

Good morning....

2005-12-13T05:11:00.000-08:00

This tree is around the corner from me. On Hazard. They also have two dogs (especially the dachsund) who have said some awful things to my dog Jackie but he does his aloof thing and doesn't even look their way. But here is their Christmas tree. Which is one reason I love my neighborhood. It still has some semblance of character. While the yuppies are coming in fast and lots of the good old houses are being torn down to make way for the huge homes and towering townhouses, there are still pockets of the old Montrose left. Across the street from me, the little yellow brick bungalow was scraped away and now a neighbor from a townhouse is building a single family house, architecturally designed, which we don't mind. And maybe they'll build a single family home on Juanita's lot. I hope. It's those thrown-up-in-a short-time fake-Spanish townhouses that I do not like. But just wait til the next good hurricane and see which houses are left. Am I tempting fate? Maybe, but we've been through some good ones, wind blowing and windows rattling and we're still here, by the Grace of God.
Today I am grateful:
to have been present for N's huge breakthrough at the noon meeting at St. Pauls yesterday

that working the Steps heals in amazing ways

to begin my day with the prayer Thy Will, not mine, be done today-lots of times I forget but today I remembered

Viktor Frankl: We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men who walked through the huts comforting others, giving away their last piece of bread. They may have been few in number, but they offer sufficient proof that everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms -- to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way.

***Here. From me to you. Go to Paris. Check out Paris at night. *Scroll horizontally*. This is a masterpiece.
http://framboise781.free.fr/Paris.htm

2005-12-12T09:20:00.000-08:00

Today, December 12, is the Feast Day of the Virgin of Guadalupe.

Today I am grateful:

for breakfast with my sponsor Scott W. at Harry's yesterday and Harry's migas, the best in town
for 3.5 hours of dancing at Tumbleweeds with my Honey last night
that Houston winter weather is back--Yankee weather Go HOME! And STAY there!
for the woman who stopped to snap a pic of my Big Balls Bougainvilla
that I'll make it to the nooner at St. Pauls--one powerful meeting

It is only with the heart that one sees rightly, what is essential is invisible to the eye. --Antoine de Saint-Exupery in The Little Prince

Made this one on 9/24/05 in Scotland

2005-12-10T13:52:00.000-08:00

Here's one of the Scotland trip pics-- The Isle of Iona is right off the coast near the Hebrides.Very few inhabitants, really quiet, imbued with peace--this Island was incredible. . This is the island where St. Columbo landed in the 6th century, bringing Christianity to Scotland. The land you see beyond the water is called the Isle of Women because it's where Columbo sent all the women as he thought they'd cause trouble on the island. Not a politically correct saint. Later a nunnery was built on his island. So there.

I got me some big balls...

2005-12-10T13:39:00.000-08:00

But you have to turn sideways to see 'em.
( Well, I never said I knew how to turn the
photos--I was just thrilled to get them on here.) Next lesson will be getting them upright. Then you'll get to see the rainbow Christmas tree that's around the corner from me and the rest of my decorations which make my house look like an ethnic brothel.

My best co-dependent relationship

2005-12-10T09:25:00.000-08:00

This is a quickie before I head to the nooner at Right Step. You just didn't get to see my handsome JC's little face yesterday--but now you have. He's been my Significant Other--and our relationship is totally co-dependent but I can do that with a SO who weighs only 4.5 pounds and who has learned that biting me once too many times can cause one to lose one's balls ( the birthday surprise from Hell). More about balls (and pictures too) after the meeting.
Today I am grateful:

that my sponsor stopped by on the way to see my grand-sponsor to show me how to put my links back on my blog
for my book on Owning Your Shadow
for this quote from Jeremiah 33:3--'Call unto me and I will answer thee, and show thee great and mighty things, which thou knowest not'

from my corner of the Big H

2005-12-09T11:07:00.000-08:00

This is the view from my upstairs window, right beside my computer. The first is the bougainvilla, almost reaching the second story and still surviving the cold we had last night. Very shortly I'll go outside and hang those big silver ornaments on my bougainvilla since it's warmed up to something like 40 and the weather is now go-outtable. The second pic is Zoe and Jackie Chan my Yorkie, both sitting on Zoe's window seat. Zoe is NOT happy that her brother Jackie Chan is sharing her seat. Later she'll get in HIS bed and when he goes to hop in she will have her revenge and not move. And might even smack him. He hates it when she's in his bed and leaves cat hair there. Sibling rivalry.

Juanita's house is being torn down even as I write. Jackie keeps growling at the sounds of brick and wood crumbling and crashing. When Juanita was alive and we were making our afternoon visit, Jackie used to run in and jump up on Juanita's bed and kiss her when she'd be lying there and that would crack her up. When I heard them unloading the demolition equipment early today, I went over and pulled up some cannas to plant in my back yard.

My friend Sandra is doing her chemo which does wrathful things to the human body--and it's true, if it doesn't kill you, it might give you more time in which you'll wish you were dead. The chemo has been going on for a looooong time--in July the MDs thought she'd be able to take a break but that didn't happen. Now she's having a hard time eating--well, actually what's happening is she's so tired from the chemo, she's nauseated and has very little energy to eat--much less cook or shop for anything. So several of us are making sure that there's always something in her home for her to heat and eat. Another person is putting up some decorations and a two of us call daily to make sure she's OK and has what she needs. When she can, she asks for a ride to a meeting--but that's happening less often. She says its difficult to be helpless and have to ask for assistance--or to let people know you're not eating and you don't want to move. But she's finally reaching out and giving us the opportunity to be of service to her. It's a God thing--surrendering enough to ask for help. What a gift to be her friend. Please send her a prayer.
Today I'm grateful:

for Shirley who several weeks ago let us know about Sandra's need of assistance
for Sandra's willingness to trust that we'll be there for her
for the Christmas Concert last night at Lakewood which was great (why did I forget my camera? )
that the blue Norther from Canada didn't destroy my bougainvilla
that I can finally post pics

All is well...and here's my kitty cat

2005-12-08T16:31:00.000-08:00

Okay--I told you I'd have a picture and here it is. This is Zoe the wild child Kitty Cat.
And furthermore and joyfully--All is well--says my MD Dr. B--so now I'm in the process of regaining my sanity. I said yesterday that I'd gotten peaceful Tuesday night and I did and then insanity set in BIG TIME Wednesday and lasted til I got out of the doctors office. Lord help me if it ever lasts any longer than that. Since I've had a taste of serenity, when insanity hits, it hits with a vengence and I long for my serenity.
Dr. B said that most people who've had cancer experience this anxiety and more before their exams--so once again, I prove not to be terminally unique.

Today I am grateful:

that my exam is over and I am OK
that my Honey went with me for moral support--I really appreciate that man
that we have tickets to the Christmas Celebration w/ the Houston Symphony and Chorus at Lakewood Church tonight--WooHoo! Yee Ha! It's gonna be good--wish all of y'all who would want to could come with us--

Safe people...not sharks....

2005-12-07T15:25:00.000-08:00

Well, OK. I'll tell you the truth about why I didn't post for a couple of days. The truth is--I was quite insane. A couple of years ago I had cancer and I see the doctor every four months to check on how I'm doing and to make sure the cancer doesn't show up some place else. Tomorrow is my appointment and Monday night I didn't sleep well, kept waking up and feeling afraid and anxious and shameful and that went on all day Tuesday til I called Scott and told him what was going on with me and how ashamed I was to tell him. I also told him that I didn't want to tell Honey about my fear either and we both agreed I sure as hell BETTER tell him. Which is what I did first thing when he walked in the door Tuesday afternoon, even though I didn't know why I was feeling so much fear and shame about telling him. My feelings were getting overwhelming to the point that even my hands were aching and my legs were cramping and I couldn't figure out why

Well anyway, what happened is Honey and I went to a meeting at The Right Step and Chris the counselor talked about shame in the family system--and while he was talking I suddenly realized the source of all my feelings. Before I got into recovery, of course I didn't choose safe and appropriate people to be vulnerable with. I was attracted to unsafe people. Then I'd be vulnerable with people who would exploit and shame me and who would use whatever I had shared to blackmail me emotionally. I just couldn't get it--you're NOT supposed to bleed around sharks. As soon as I realized where my feelings were coming from, the pain in my hands and legs went away and I understaood I'd been experiencing past shame and fear from when I'd put myself in a victim role with inappropriate people. And a feeling of peace came over me and is still with me.

I know I've changed. What is really different from my past behavior is that now I choose SAFE and appropriate people to be vulnerable with--Scott and Honey--who have proven themselves trustworthy and safe. Thank you, God, that Recovery has allowed me to change--big time.

Today I am grateful:

for lessons that come at unexpected times
that Nancy came over and I CAN post pictures and tomorrow I will--
that I know and love more and more people in recovery
that Francesca came today and my house is CLEAN
that learning to make healthy choices has changed my life--I feel like I'm living in a different realm that I never knew existed

Letting Go, Lakewood, and Polka

2005-12-04T07:09:00.000-08:00

The Language of Letting Go
Letting Go
"How much do we need to let go of?" a friend asked one day. "I'm not certain," I replied, "but maybe everything."
Letting go is a spiritual, emotional, mental, and physical process, a sometimes mysterious metaphysical process of releasing to God and the Universe that which we are clinging to so tightly. We let go of our grasp on people, outcomes, ideas, feelings, wants, needs, desires - everything. We let go of trying to control our progress in recovery.
Yes, it's important to acknowledge and accept what we want and what we want to happen. But it's equally important to follow through by letting go. Letting go is the action part of faith. It is a behavior that gives God and the Universe permission to send us what we're meant to have. Letting go means we acknowledge that hanging on so tightly isn't helping to solve the problem, change the person, or get the outcome we desire. It isn't helping us. In fact, we learn that hanging on often blocks us from getting what we want and need.
Who are we to say that things aren't happening exactly as they need to happen? There is magic in letting go. Sometimes we get what we want soon after we let go. Sometimes it takes longer. Sometimes the specific outcome we desire doesn't happen. Something better does.
Letting go sets us free and connects us to our Source. Letting go creates the optimum environment for the best possible outcomes and solutions. Today, I will relax. I will let go of that which is upsetting me the most. I will trust that by letting go, I have started the wheels in motion for things to work out in the best possible way.
I am getting to know myself today. I accept who I am today. I like myself today. --Ruth Fishel

Honey's and my date destination last night was Lakewood Church (and I really wanted to hear Joel Osteen). After watching him on TV for several years, I got curiouser and curiouser about him. Good positive, powerful message. Very diverse group , a very welcoming, very loving place to be. Check him out on TV sometime. And this morning on TV his message was that no matter what addictions or disfunctions are in our family or in ourselves, that the only person we can change is ourselves. And with the help of God, we can change. Sure sounded like a sermon on the Serenity prayer to me.
Tonight Honey and I will go Polka at Tumbleweeds--talk about good exercize. And a hell of a lot more fun than a treadmill. Or aerobics.
Today I am grateful:

for Houston weather--my AC is running again. Yesterday was 82. Tonight will be cooler--meanwhile my bougainvilla is going wild, my pansies are blooming their little heads off and the periwinkles and angelina are back again
that Lakewood Church is in Houston
to be headed to an art opening at http://www.winterstreetstudios.net/ very shortly where friends William Panzer http://www.williampanzer.com and Nancy Fleagle (don't have her link for some reason) and other artists have their studios and will be showing their art today until 5
to wake up this morning feeling grateful and blessed and for the gratitude lists of other bloggers who also choose to feel grateful and blessed
that I'm finally beginning to get the power of letting go--and more and more often I remember I can let go and Let God--then I can relax and experience the peace that passes all understanding (Thank God I'm not in charge)

out in the woods

2005-12-03T12:49:00.000-08:00

This is a quote from Scott's blog this morning:
'The stillness of God speaks louder than a choir of voices.' Isn't that beautiful? That's what I noticed this morning in the woods beyond Willis--Jackie Chan needed to go out so after making a cup of coffee, I put his little leash on (so he doesn't run off into the woods after a squirrel or rabbit) and he and I went outside for a walk around Honey's place which is a long way from any neighbors. The silence of the woods --what can I say. No sirens, no construction sounds, no car engines or alarms--just the rustling of the leaves in the wind, the sound of a hawk crying in the clear blue sky, the occasional bark of a dog in the distance--then suddenly a flock of crows settles into the trees beyond the clearing--the mind gets very quiet, no thought intrudes. Lovely how the stillness of God can include the sound of a hawk or a crow or the leaves.
Today I am grateful:

that we'll go hear Joel Osteen tonight at Lakewood for the first time (this on the recommendation of a speaker at the Lambda center who said his heart opened there)
for the time spent at Honey's place in the woods
that I have a relationship with a man who has an inner life--and lots of sobriety
that he also loves to cook for me--Thursday night it was pork schnitzel, German potato salad and red cabbage--last night he did steak which was divine
that we keep doing what it takes to have a healthy relationship--how good is that?
that I got another wreath at the same reduced price and now will have symmetry as I put one on each front window
for the experience, strength, hope and humor in the recovery blogs lately

Want a quickie?

2005-12-01T11:06:00.000-08:00

If you do want a quickie, my darlings, here's one as I have two things to do--call my grandkids and pack up for my trip to the woods beyond Willis. ************these asterisks indicate a passage of time and mean that I've now called my grandkids-- Just have to have that fix every few days. I went ahead and called since they're6 hours ahead of us and I didn't want to call and have them in bed.
Today I am grateful

that I found a huge wreath with lights on it for my front door--for $15 at Southland Hardware. It was from last year and had been in the attic and had no price tag so the owner's daughter told me she thought $15 was enough. I do love a bargain. Plus it'll be easy to hang.
for the friendship that's developing between a terminally ill friend and myself through our brief but powerful interactions--I've given her my Thursday mornings to do whatever and it's been touching to watch her learn to receive. It's not easy for us Alanons. We like to take care of people--NOT get taken care of. Little by little she and I share more and more of ourselves and are becoming good friends. Sometimes she's strong enough for meetings, sometimes she's not--but she was there on Monday.
that my dear friend Juanita who died in April can't see her little house across the street being demolished to make way for townhouses
that I knew Juanita who was one of the very first waitresses hired at the Shamrock Hotel back in the early '60s and got to hear all her stories about the wealthy lawyers oilmen and their mistresses who would hang out at the Shamrock Bar and how the waitresses would watch out for Marvin Zindler(a local reporter) who would come in with his camera to try to catch them in their mischief--one waitress, seeing Marvin getting ready to shoot a particular oilman and his cutie, "tripped" with a full try of drinks, spilling them all on Marvin, drenching him. The oilman gave her a $100 dollar tip--and this was when $100 was a lot of money
that my world of bloggers is expanding--I keep adding people that I just gotta read

I won't write tomorrow since I'll be in the woods near Willis. You'll hear from me on Saturday when Jackie Chan and I'll return.

about the pictures...

2005-11-30T21:20:00.000-08:00

I called my Olympus Camera contact Nancy and she's got an upper respiratory infection plus she's got an art thing this weekend. So maybe Monday she'll do the photo thing with me. If she's well and doing better.
Just thought I'd let you know.